Live Operations

Just got moved from the R&D department into Live Operations. Most people see this as a death sentence. But I see opportunity. Sitting at a desk, researching charges and trying to figure out how to make them a better experience is the worst. How was the visit? Did you return more than once? How would you rate the interaction on a scale of one to ten? The questions are endless. I’m sick of questions. I want to live! I want to play! I want to be an official imaginary friend.

The little one’s name was Taylor. Somewhere east of Missouri. I don’t quite know where as my means of travel does not exactly have road signs. It’s a perk of being invisible. Teleportation is more than theoretical. She was inside her dog’s house in the quaint backyard, covered by a canopy of hydrangeas when I was called to her side.

“Maurice,” she called out. “Get the doggy!” It goes without saying my name isn’t Maurice. Nor do I have the horns and a tail she imaged me with. I could image it myself, how cumbersome they would be. And seriously? Polka dots on my skin? That’s where I draw the line. But her creativity put a smile on my face. I floated over the yard to the sand pit where the dog was wrestling a stuffed bear.

Thank goodness pets can sense me, otherwise I’d be out of luck in convincing young Taylor I was real. With a nudge at the dog’s haunches, it sprang up. The snarl on its lips faded into a happy, panting smile as its wide brown eyes fell upon me. “Get goin,” I said, shoving the dog in the way of his petite owner. Her fluted dress was picking up dirt faster than her dog, who rerouted himself into the flowerbed.

And the troubleshooting begins. In an instant, I was looming over the spontaneous pup, glaring as strongly as I could. “Maurice!” Taylor called out, trailing the “eese” far longer than it needed. My swatting hand only spooked the dog further, sending it galloping playfully across the fenced in yard. I pressed my fingers into my temples and decided how to handle the rambunctious pet. With force.

With the dog wiggling in my grasp, I carried him across the yard, waiting outside the entry to the dog house for Taylor to see I completed my task. Her bright blue eyes spotted the hovering dog and she grinned a smile filled with missing teeth. Dropping the furry friend, he was instantly excited by both Taylor and myself, stealing glances back and forth. “You’re great, Maurice,” she said. That’s the beauty about Live Operations. Kids don’t ask questions.